NATION URGENTLY REQUIRES SOB-N-CRY BARS

With numbers of highly distressed/oppressed rising exponentially by the day owing to a variety of causes, of course accelerated by uninterrupted rule of PM Modi and his outstanding attainments, country needs a network/chain of SOB-N-CRY Bars in every town immediately with features/facilities like -

Exclusive Happy-Hours for Gen Z/Wokes/Lonely Hearts/Jilted Lovers/Defeated and Frustrated Netas/Retired, Suspended and Charge-sheeted Babus/Disgruntled Journalists/Eminently-Disgraced-Leftist Intellectuals/Owners of Banned NGOs/Solitudinarians/Khap-Panchayat Victims/Fake-Dowry Complaint Victims/#MeToo Victims/You Too Accusers/Failed Students and IAS Aspirants On the Verge of Committing Suicide...They all need to sob without embarrassment.   

Visitors/guests must feel uninhibited to sob to their hearts content so as to dilute their mental heaviness, must never be told ‘Time to close’ to leave the Bar. After all, sobbing flushes out undesirable toxins by releasing Cortisol which laughing cannot.   

Networking/connections among patrons may be gently encouraged and guests must leave whenever they do so, lighthearted merrily after warm hugs. 

Sob-N-Cry Bars must be open on all days being classified as an essential service under Essential Services Maintenance Act.  

Weekly/monthly schedule of their respective Happy-Hours for all may be decided based on seasonal demand in consultation with all stake-holders with inconvenience to none.

Strike/unrest in these Bars must be banned altogether being essential and holy service. 

Snacks must be served on ‘No-Profit-No-Loss Basis’ in view of abject and pitiable state of mind of visitors.  

Appropriate lilting musical ambiance within premises of Bars with a soothing influence, soft illumination should be mandatory. 

Licencing terms and conditions for Sob-N-Cry Bars must be liberalised. 

No street-vendor be allowed to sell 'Namkeen' just outside every Bar to maintain dignity and sobriety of Bars. Those Bars have a specific mandate, must not be equated with ‘Deshi Daru Theka-s’ or ‘Rudali Clubs’. 

With minimum two drinks, any amount of tissue paper should be allowed free to wipe out tears of agony and catastrophic destiny. 

All waiters/waitresses must be trained how to selflessly offer their shoulders to those who need that to cry upon without expecting hefty tips. They must be endowed with exceedingly amiable disposition in all aspects of human conduct and temperament. 

Facility of paying bills through comfortable EMIs at 0% interest must be provided for those who may notch heavy amount in bills out of sheer despondence in life caused by serial failures and tragedies. 

Financing facility @ 0% rate of interest must be available for launching new outlets. NITI Aayog must formulate a comprehensive policy framework.  

If an outlet of Sob-N-Cry Bar runs into loss, Government must provide subvention to sustain that. After all, it is a philanthropic social service for poor Souls in distress. 

Must be declared an important constituent of 'Sabka Saath, Sabka Vikas, Sabka Ullas', PMs programme of national renaissance. Distressed and deprived segments of society for whatever reasons equally require a helping hand. 

The idea has been in action already in the incarnation of ‘Cry Clubs’ in Mumbai, Delhi, Bangaluru and Hyderabad. Surat has been having a ‘Healthy Crying Club’ running for eight years straight. They find their origin Hiroki Terai who launched ‘Rui-katsu’ in Tokyo for divorced couples as group therapy.  

I hope, dynamic entrepreneurs/US $ investment bankers/Euro venture capitalists are listening to this lucrative business opportunity. George Soros may be invited to launch the project in a grand style and fanfare.